Women's Dating Rules as Career Advice

Career Change Advice Meet Rules of Relationships in “Girl On Top”

Nov 25, 2009 Terence P Ward

The rules of dating are different for men and women, and so too are the rules for career advancement. Nicole Williams suggests how dating rules can be career advice.

Girl on Top is an irreverent and frank look at the ways women move up the career ladder, and common ways they sabotage their success. Nicole Williams takes stock of the available wisdom for women on dating, and draws parallels to career success. These rules, developed specifically for women, cover the ways that good dating rules can be translated into both career advancement advice and career change advice. Her language is earthy, her ideas are often blunt, and some of her advice seems shocking at first glance, which can make for a more emotional read than a business book usually offers.

A deeper look shows that, while Williams' advice is definitely unorthodox, it's also practical. Women share certain cultural expectations which make them relate to the workplace differently than men do, and Girl On Top is a handbook for playing to female strengths and avoid pitfalls that are more likely to snare women than men.

Keeping the Mystery in the (Employment) Relationship

A boss, like a boyfriend, will stay interested as long as he doesn't believe he knows everything yet. A Girl On Top maintains a professional appearance, both in dress and in composure. William's tips (and chapter titles) include:

• Don't Bash Your Ex
• Play Hard to Get
• Lay Off the Liquor
• Don't Give Away Your Milk for Free
• Don't Waste the Pretty

The book makes it clear that this is not about sleeping one's way to the top of a company. To the contrary, Williams offers reasons to avoid the type of dress and behavior that would invite that perception. “It's not a plunging neckline . . . and it's definitely not an exchange of sex for promotion – that has a whole other name,” she says on page 44.

Sexuality in the Workplace

“I think we've had way too many years of presuming that the key to success for women is to pretend that we're men,” Williams explains. Women have a sexual energy, and when it is cultivated as desire rather than lust, it can be used for advantage. Bring passion and excitement to the workplace, she recommends, walk tall and have a little fun. What she refers to as “it” is difficult to articulate, but the details of how to dress are laid out in detail. The One Sexy Thing Rule states that only one of these areas should have an alluring garment:

• Cleavage – with tips of riding the line between provocative and pornographic
• Legs – skirt strategies, and what part of the leg is best to display
• Feet – what options make a powerful statement, and what just looks ridiculous

Williams recommends that sexuality be used coyly like flirting would be, rather than as an overt strategy. She also recommends that, to avoid being seen as a tease, it's best to underpromise and overdeliver rather than the other way around.

The Man's Perspective

Girl On Top is written by a woman and for women, and this reviewer appreciates that. Looking in from the outside, this book is casual and fun enough to either put the reader at ease or shock them terribly, depending more on age than on gender. The strategies are targeted at women, but they can be interesting reading for any man who happens to work with or for women himself.

The copyright of the article Women's Dating Rules as Career Advice in Technical/Business Writing is owned by Terence P Ward. Permission to republish Women's Dating Rules as Career Advice in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Girl On Top offers career advice