Focus on Reader Action
Identify the Positive Actions Required of Readers in Business
Vague writing has no place in business. Messages that wander off on tangents, provide too much background information, or leave out essential information waste the reader's time. Every message written in business requires some specific action from the reader.
Here are some examples:
- An email requesting the reader's presence at a meeting requires the reader to respond, either to accept or to refuse.
- A proposal that applies for funding requires the reader to provide approval.
- A letter requesting a recommendation from a former boss requires the reader to supply a recommendation.
- A sales letter outlining the advantages of a new product requires the reader purchase the product.
Encouraging a Positive Response
The writer must identify the required action expected from the reader and then write the message or document in a way that enables the reader to respond. When the writer requires a positive response, such as approval of an application, every word the writer chooses should contribute to achieving the goal of getting the reader to respond positively.
Vague vs. Specific Actions
Since all business writing requests some kind of action from the reader, the language that the writer uses must encourage the reader to take the required action. In the following sentence, the action required by the reader is vague:
Discussions are required regarding options for developing a new product. Most people are in favor.
The reader does not have a clue what the writer expects. Questions the reader has include: What am I supposed to do? Am I being asked to develop a new product? What product?
Such a message likely ends up in the reader's Trash folder. An alternative, reader-centered sentence specifies an action:
Please send your ideas for developing new product lines to me prior to our meeting on October 6.
This sentence tells the reader exactly what to do and provides a deadline. The writing is clear and action-oriented and uses the action verb send. By clarifying what action the reader should take as a result of reading a business message, the writer shows respect for the reader. In addition, the writer increases the chances of getting exactly what is required.
Three Methods for Clarifying Action
The writer can use the following three methods to develop clear, effective business communications that promote reader action.
Method 1: Selecting Precise Words
Every word used should communicate the message clearly and precisely so that readers are left in no doubt about its meaning. The following sentence provides an example of how the use of vague words leads to a lack of clarity and leaves the reader mystified regarding the required action:
It is important to point out that the company is in serious financial trouble.
The phrase serious financial trouble is virtually meaningless. The reader has no way of knowing whether serious financial trouble means a dip in profits or imminent bankruptcy. The use of precise words clarifies the message:
The 2010 financial statements for Renfrew Shipping reveal a 20% decrease in profits.
In this sentence, the writer defines a time frame (2010), names the company (Renfrew Shipping), and defines serious financial trouble as a 20% decrease in profits. The reader now has valuable information that he or she can act upon.
Method 2: Using Everyday Vocabulary
Few things annoy readers more than use of an inflated vocabulary in a business document. Here is an example of a sentence that uses stilted, pretentious phrasing:
As per our recent conversation, I am hereby sending you the information about what printing equipment The Printing Place can be expected to offer you.
The effective business writer eliminates old-fashioned phrases such as hereby and as per and gets right to the point:
As we discussed on March 2, I enclose a price list of the printing equipment you can purchase from The Printing Place.
Method 3: Eliminating Wordiness
Businesspeople in the 21st Century are busier than ever thanks to the constant demands of email, text messages, blog posts, tweets, and so on. Readers will not attend for long to writers who waste time with long-winded, circuitous messages. Here's an example:
Your application, which we received with pleasure just this past week, will be reviewed by us at a later date yet to be determined.
What is the reader to make of a sentence such as that? Here is a version that eliminates excess words and shows respect for the reader's time:
We will review your application by May 10.
An effective business writer reads every message carefully before sending it to ensure it includes only words that contribute to meaning. Excess words that contribute nothing to meaning should be ruthlessly cut.
First Time Rule
The effective business writer tries to ensure that everything written can be understood the first time someone reads it. If the reader needs to read a sentence two or three times to understand it, then the writer has not written a clear sentence and communication stops. When communication stops, the writer loses the opportunity to inspire reader action. When action stops in business, results stagnate-often with devastating consequences.
See also Energize Business Writing to learn how to use action verbs to make business writing dynamic and results-oriented.
Source
Material in this article was adapted from New Perspectives: Portfolio Projects for Business Communication by Carol M. Cram. Published by Course Technology: 2010.
Clear and Precise Business Writing Gets Results
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